A few minutes before Keilani pooped in her pants she told me, “poo! poo!” and we rushed into the bathroom with Boobaby following closely behind. Keilani loves Boobaby and told me that she didn’t mind if Boobaby came in when I asked her if that was OK, so Boobaby stood next to Keilani and watched with curiosity as Keilani tried to poop. I think Keilani wasn’t quite ready to “perform under pressure”, however, and so didn’t go—false alarm. However, just a few minutes later she once again said “poo! poo!” and this time Daddy rushed her upstairs to the bathroom. By the time they got there though she had already pooped in her pants. Rats!

We are very proud of her and hope that she is now on the home stretch of this whole potty-training process! (Knock on wood!)

In short, no, Keilani did not pee for our nanny on Day 7 of potty-training. She sat on the potty with our nanny at the playground three times before leaving to come home but didn’t go…until she went in her pants while standing on the back of the stroller on the way home. Our nanny asked her if she wanted to go at home and she said yes, but she just didn’t make it… shoot! Oh well, maybe next time! The rest of Day 7 passed uneventfully, although she did have two more accidents. Argh! Maybe she is just not ready? Or maybe it does take time to learn? It’s so hard to tell!

Day 8

On Day 8 we ventured out to Santana Row in San Jose where they purported to celebrate “Bastille Day”:

“Vive la France” et “Vive la Tradition Française” at Left Bank Brasserie with fun and games for both adults and children: a live Poodle Parade, classic French clowns and jugglers to entertain and awe, Parisian swing bands, accordion players, Pétanque on the lawn, special menus inspired by and dedicated to the Revolution, a “Storming of the Bastille”, pastis tastings and even appearances of Marie-Antoinette herself!

Sounds pretty fun, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, the clown who made balloon animals for children had seen better days…his trusty balloon bag carried only one color of balloon and he must have just completed clown school as he knew how to make only one kind of balloon animal:

Clown to parent, spoken in your best fake French accent: “vuht ahneemul vould your leetle geerl like today?”

Parent: “Um, how about a cat?”

Clown: “How about a dog?” (<– note the sudden lack of French accent)

Child: “NO! I want a CAT!”

Clown, embarrassed, twisting balloon: “Um, OK, here you go!” (as one balloon leg of the dog pops) “It’s a CAT!”

Child: “That’s not a CAT! That’s a DOG!”

Parent, just wanting to get out of there: “Um, thank the nice clown for your balloon, honey”

But I digress…apart from the zaniness of the broken-down-carnival atmosphere of “Bastille Day” and the craziness of the upscale “live to shop!” exuberance of Santana Row itself, which is worth a whole ‘nother post in and of itself, we had a great time and Keilani did pretty OK with the potty. (Which is supposed to be what this post is about, anyway!)

She peed in the public potty on her Sesame Street Toilet Seat successfully when we got there, and then had a few false alarms throughout the day. However, recognizing that Santana Row was really no place for an active toddler, an infant, and parents who never spend more than $20 on a pair of jeans, we decided to adjourn to a local playground.

It was here where Keilani broke down… she was having so much fun playing with Daddy that despite repeated questioning and prompts from Daddy she peed through her pants and onto the playground structure! When asked later WHY she didn’t pee in the potty she said that she was “having too much fun playing”. Well, that one we could fix…we told her that the next time she was playing and peed in her pants because she didn’t want to stop we would leave the playground immediately, but if she stopped playing just long enough to pee in the potty, we would stay and keep playing. We thought this sank in and made sense, but just minutes later she pooped in her pants! Sigh. She had only pooped successfully on the potty once before, so we didn’t know if this time was just because she didn’t want to stop playing and poop or because she wasn’t really making the connection yet between having to poop and being able to make it to a potty on time. As we had already been there over an hour, however, we left anyway, doubting this whole potty-training thing immensely and pretty much deciding that she must not be ready.

Day 9

However, Day 9 brought a 3-year-old’s birthday party and a MUCH better day with the potty for Keilani! She peed successfully several times in the morning before leaving for the party, a few more times on our portable Potette travel potty seat at the party itself (these are the greatest, by the way!), and only had ONE accident that evening at home. Could she maybe be “getting it”, we wondered?

Day 10

After more than a week of questioning and second-guessing ourselves and wondering if it was maybe just the wrong time or if Keilani simply wasn’t ready yet…

KEILANI HAD AN ACCIDENT-FREE DAY *AND* POOPED SUCCESSFULLY ON THE POTTY *AND* PEED ON THE POTTY IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM FOR OUR NANNY!!!!

We were absolutely amazed, thrilled, happy, and oh-so-proud of her! Could it be that all of that Potty Power had finally sunk in? Did Elmo’s Potty Time really do the trick? Did she *really* get it or did we just get lucky today???

Whatever the case, we are excited and very relieved that we didn’t throw in the towel earlier (and believe me, there were many times when we wanted to!) and go back to diapers! Stay tuned for Day 11…. will Keilani have another accident-free day? Was Day 10 just a fluke???

For all of you non-parents out there reading this, if you haven’t already done so you can safely and blissfully skip all of these “potty” posts! I certainly would have before I had kids of my own! Believe me, I never thought I would ever have this much to say about anyone’s pee and poop and when and how it happened in such abundant detail, EVER!

However, two lovely daughters later, here I am, completely immersed in both of their bodily functions on an almost minute-by-minute basis. “Did Malia have a poo?”, I ask my husband after he changes her diaper, wondering whether she is eating enough, feeling sick, and/or ready to start solids yet. “Is Keilani eating enough fruit?”, I wonder later, hoping that she isn’t too constipated to poop on the potty and resolving to feed her prunes for dinner just in case. Insanity!

But anyway, such is life and I digress… back to the poop-files!

So Keilani pooped on the potty this morning! She was a little afraid at first, but I cheered her on and she did wonderfully and was so proud of herself! I was VERY proud of her, too, and extraordinarily happy that the poop actually made it straight into the toilet without first making an appearance elsewhere in our house (I think I mentioned the incident on Mommy and Daddy’s bed in a previous post)!

The rest of the day passed without incident (all successes—yay!) until this evening, when she peed on our living room rug. We had just returned from a long car ride to downtown San Francisco and back to pick up Daddy from work, and about two minutes from home Malia decided she was ravenous and started crying in her carseat.

We raced home and made it in record-time and I rushed to grab Malia from the car and take her upstairs and nurse her, leaving Daddy to bring Keilani upstairs (which is no big deal, Keilani LOVES her Daddy!). However, this night was different—she wanted “Mommy Mommy MOOM-EEEEE!!!!” and I was in the middle of nursing Malia! I thought she might just be hungry and so shouted to her, “Mommy is on the couch in the living room, come on in and snuggle with me!” and she finally came in, sobbing the whole way—I couldn’t imagine what was wrong! She hadn’t mentioned “pee” or “poop” at all and I am embarrassed to say that I just didn’t think of it—I was immersed in nursing and just wasn’t thinking about that. (Maybe even parents can only fixate on one bodily function at a time!)

At that point she peed on the floor, crying for Mommy, my poor baby girl, and my heart just broke into little tiny pieces. OF COURSE she needed to pee, she had drunk about a quart of juice (yes, we let her have juice sometimes, I know, I know, bad parents) and water and had been holding it in for the entire car ride because she so desperately wants to be a “big girl” (like the girls and boys in that Potty Power video—I can’t tell you how afraid I am for “real” peer pressure when she goes to school!).

I of course immediately handed Malia to my husband and consoled and held (and cleaned up) Keilani, and I felt terrible, like I had let my baby down. We mothers are supposed to KNOW these things and I even THOUGHT as we were driving home that I needed to get her on the potty the instant we got home, but when Malia started crying it all went right out the window and I didn’t think of anything else except hurrying home to nurse her.

So, Keilani had one accident today, but I sort of feel responsible, even though I know that she needs to be the one to say “pee” or “poop” and to communicate what she needs to us, but still. Shouldn’t a mother just know these things? Shouldn’t I have just known???

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s installment….first day with the nanny! Will Keilani pee (or poop?) on the potty for our nanny? Tune in tomorrow to find out!

P.S. Is it too personal to publish this type of information on the Internet? Will Keilani read this one day and be angry or hurt or embarrassed that I posted this live for the world to see? I hereby reserve the right to edit or delete this posting at a later date if I still feel conflicted about this, and I hereby also reserve the right to publish lots of boastful posts about all of her many wondrous accomplishments (which will probably embarrass her even more, but that’s OK!).

In all seriousness, I think it helps parents sometimes to read the “gory details” of other parents’ struggles which is why I am posting all of these potty details. It’s all too easy on the playground to just talk in vague generalizations and of course to leave out the really tough parts, which you either edit out deliberately (sort of like the familiar “how are you?” “fine, thanks” exchange, this one goes something like, “how’s the potty training going?” “Oh, pretty good thanks, she’s doing great and only had one accident today!”). Or, sometimes you just honestly forget—nature is wonderful in that way in allowing us to forget past pain and struggles, but I think it can help others to hear about it sometimes (particularly if their expectations are for “Just One Day!” potty-training, LOL!)

I also have to give more kudos to the “Potty Power” video today! Keilani watched “Potty Power” something like 6 times this morning (apparently we are not a “No TV or video” household after all, haha) and seems to REALLY want to be a “big kid” like the kids in the video. I think they are great motivation for her as she is not in preschool yet and doesn’t have many “older big kid” friends whom she sees often enough to want to emulate. This video seems to really provide that motivation!

Keilani only had ONE accident today (yes, her successes finally outnumbered her accidents—hooray!) and I think that this accident only happened because she was so excited to see Daddy tonight when he came home that she literally peed her pants!

Now, onto poop…Stay tuned!

Day Four of potty-training again met with mixed success. On the previous evening Keilani watched a DVD that we had purchased called “Potty Power” and lo and behold, she LOVES this DVD! This is a girl who has shown absolutely no interest in television or videos whatsoever her entire life, but let me tell you, she LOVES this video! From the animated toilet-paper roll (“TP”) to the cheesy songs enacted out by real “big kids” (“No more diapers for me!”, “I’m a Big Kid Now!”, “Wipe Your Bottom” and many more) to the fairy tale of the Princess and the Potty, this video is a bona fide HIT!

This video really upped Keilani’s motivation and on Day Four she wanted to wear her “Big Girl” underwear and really worked hard to make it to the potty all day. I am very proud of her—she only had two accidents and multiple successes!

It was also the first day we ventured out of the house for more than an hour—we ended up going to the Bay Area Discovery Museum at the last minute (amazing place if you have never been!) and I quickly packed up all of the potty essentials (multiple changes of clothes—check, towel for the carseat—check, portable toilet seat—check, sense of humor for all of the anticipated accidents—check!).

Keilani is definitely getting the hang of holding her pee in (almost too well I think, but more on that later…) and she actually peed successfully in the potty at the museum! By the way, this is a HUGE workload for the parent if you are also carrying around another infant—Keilani’s little sister was snug in the Baby Bjorn and while wearing her I had to pick up Keilani, RUN her and Malia across the grounds to the nearest bathroom, climb over a small fence to avoid running all the way around on the path (she would never have made it), lug the portable toilet seat out of the potty bag (yes, we still have a “diaper” bag, except now it is a “potty” bag), and finally squat down on the nasty bathroom floor to cheer Keilani on. Whew. And did she pee in the potty?

NO! FALSE ALARM! Sigh.

However, the NEXT time she DID! SUCCESS! I was so proud of her—her very first successful pee outside of the house!

Now if we could just get her to poop in the potty instead of on Mommy and Daddy’s bed…

Honestly, though, reading about this approach it sounded very sensible and attainable—there is actually a ton of preparation and hard work that occurs before the “Big Day”, and it seemed like a nice middle ground between the “all-naked-all-weekend” approach (which we would have to do indoors here in SF and which would come with a hefty carpet-cleaning bill I am sure) and the “just-let-your-child-tell-you-when-she-is-ready-go-at-her-own-pace” approach (which I worried wouldn’t have Keilani potty-trained until she was 10 years old).

This “Dr. Phil” approach (not that I’m a big Dr. Phil person or anything, but I did buy into his “seal of approval” a little bit) advocates that the best way to have your child learn something is for them to teach someone else. This makes sense, and so you buy this cute little anatomically-correct doll that your child can feed and it pees on command. By having your child teach the doll how to go potty on the “big girl potty”, your child also learns what to do. (You can read more about this approach here.)

In Preparation for “The Big Day”

So, we did our prep and hard work—talked up all of the wonderful things our daughter can do because she is a “Big Girl”, took her shopping for special “Big Girl” underwear and cotton training pants, introduced her to the new doll (she loved playing with the doll), bought the special toilet seats for tiny bottoms and a little stepstool, and prepared her (and ourselves) for her big “Potty Party”.

The Big Day!

On Keilani’s “Big Day” we changed the doll into her “big girl training pants” and changed Keilani into hers, and did a “Hooray! No more diapers!” cheer. Keilani fed the doll and taught her how to “go pee” on the toilet very successfully with some help from Mommy and Daddy. We cheered and cheered for the doll and let the doll have a special treat (a jellybean, which Keilani ate). So far, so good! We explained that big girls went pee on the potty and always had dry underpants—the “desired” behavior we were hoping for from our daughter. We then had Keilani practice peeing on the potty (the whole routine—go to the potty, pull down your pants, pee, wipe, flush, wash hands) and she was really happy. We did a “dry pants check” on the doll and Keilani and they were both dry so each got another special treat.

Accidents Will Happen…

However, before we could make the doll have an accident, Keilani peed her own pants! (According to the book, you are supposed to make the doll have an accident and then show your child the “negative consequences” of an accident by making the doll practice going potty 10 times.) As we hadn’t “taught” the doll this behavior yet we didn’t make Keilani do any “practice runs”. Instead, we calmly cleaned her up and put on new training pants and said that pee goes in the potty. We could tell that she was a little upset when she went pee (I’m sure she had no idea what was happening—diapers these days keep kids so dry they hardly ever feel wet) and we were positive and supportive and said, “that’s OK, you’re just learning, that’s how everyone learns, and next time you’ll go in the potty!”. Sure enough, the next time she DID go pee in the potty and we threw her a little potty party!

“Hooray!”, we thought, “She did it!” and we were so excited and happy for her. She was so proud of herself, too, which was terrific. She received another special treat and a sticker for her chart and we thought “She gets it! We’re on the home stretch!”

More Accidents…

However, it went downhill quickly from there… Keilani had several more accidents all day long and only one other minor success (actually she coughed while on the potty and a little pee came out).

The book said that by the end of the day your child should have initiated going pee in the potty twice and that you can then consider them successfully trained (minus a few more accidents in the upcoming days and bowel movement training).

I was beginning to understand that this “Just One Day” method might in fact take several more days than we had anticipated! I wasn’t sure if Keilani was just not ready (possibly), or if we were just lousy teachers (probably), or a combination of the two (most likely), but Keilani had accident after accident throughout the rest of the day.

We did our best to cheer her on, watch her closely, and get her on the potty successfully, but to no avail—by the end of the day she had had only two “successes” (if you count the cough, and believe me we were counting everything at that point!) and 10 accidents! She didn’t seem to be recognizing the feeling BEFORE she needed to go—several times she peed immediately after getting off of the potty, and once right on the bathroom floor before she even had her “big girl training pants” back up!

At the end of the day, we concluded that she was just not ready yet and made plans to go to a local county fair the next day to get us all out of the house and enjoy the rare sunny summer heat wave happening in San Francisco.

Day Two of “Just One Day” Potty Training

However, the next morning Keilani woke up SUPER-EXCITED about the potty and in the morning actually *initiated* going to the potty all by herself AND had a huge successful pee in the potty! Hooray! We were so proud of her and decided to at least give her the morning and see what happened before throwing in the towel.

Sure enough, she peed successfully in the potty a few more times, but also had a few more accidents. But she was SO EXCITED to be a “big girl” and SO EXCITED to use the potty and SO PROUD of herself that we kept on keeping on, and Day Two passed with a few more successful pees and many more accidents.

Day Three of “Just One Day” Potty Training

Today is Day Three of our “Just One Day” potty-training story and Keilani still hasn’t initiated going pee in the potty twice (although she’s gone successfully in the potty several more times with our prompting). She is also constipated, for I think possibly the first time ever! I’m not sure if this new milestone is making her feel threatened in some way (or if she has just eaten too many chocolate M&M’s over the past two days), but she has not pooped since Saturday morning before we started the training! Today she asked for her diapers back (I could tell she needed to poop) and I of course said “sure” and put one on her because I think she’s afraid to poop in the potty and I don’t want her first poop in the potty to be painful (nor any of them, for that matter!).

So at Day Three we are currently back in diapers and waiting to see how the week progresses. If she just does not seem to be ready then we will drop it and stick with diapers for now, but if she is interested at home maybe we will keep it up here at least and see how she does with it. She really does love being a “Big Girl” and is always so proud of herself when she does go pee on the potty! She loves wearing her “Big Girl” underwear (Gerber Cotton Training Pants) and loves putting her success stickers on her chart.

Conclusion

Now that I have dialed my expectations down a little bit from my former “Just One Day!” mindset, it appears that we are indeed using the “just-let-your-child-lead-the-way” approach, and I’m happy with that! I’ll keep you posted on our (her) progress—hopefully Mommy and Daddy can help her figure it all out before she is 10!